Assertive, not Aggressive

Assertive is wonderful;

Aggressive is terrible.

Aggressive is somebody imposing their will on somebody else.

“I want you to do this”.

“I want you to go here”.

“I want you to BE this”.

“I want you to stop being that”.

There is no consideration for the other person with aggression.

There is no negotiation, no flexibility, no give-and-take.

The aggressive person has a huge need for control.

They are small inside, so they have to make their outside larger. Louder. Wider. Taller. Faster. Cleverer than anyone else.

Aggression is normally a cover-up for what’s really going on inside.

To be Assertive, on the other hand, is very different.

Assertiveness doesn't affect or involve another person at all.

Assertive is ME taking a Stance.

ME making a Stand.

ME asking for what I want.

ME claiming my rights.

When a small child asks for sweets, they don’t do it in an aggressive way. They simply ask the question, then stand firm and look you in the eyes. This is a skill many of us adults have forgotten; to simply ask for what we want.

Being Assertive  is me, being True  to myself. I require something to make me function better, so I am allowed to stand here and ask for it in a polite but firm manner, then continue standing.

To be true to oneself is so important.