Should

This should have been done like this

This shouldn't have been done like that

This should have turned out like this

This should not have happened

You should do this

You shouldn't have done that

You should have said this

You shouldn't have said that

You should try this

I should be like this

I should go here

This should work.

In my opinion, there are three kinds of Should's:

1. A should that occurred in the past
2. A should that may or may not occur in the future.
3. A should that is designed as a reprimand or command, instructing people what to do, or telling them off.

Every time we say “Should”, we are not living in the Present moment. We are living either in the Past, or the Future.

No amount of talking about the past will change it. No amount of beating ourselves up about what we did or said, will alter what actually happened. We need to, of course, learn from our past, so as not to repeat the same mistakes. That's why History in school was important.

Talking about the future can often be accompanied with worry and anxiety, as we try to forecast or predict what the future will hold. The truth is, we don't know what is around the corner. To prepare and plan is of course the right thing to do, but to live in a Should is so stressful. Remember, FEAR is:

False (or Fantasized)

Expectations

Appearing

Real

Better to live in the NOW, where I can affect it. I choose to not be angry about the past, and I choose to not feed anxiety into my future.

The worst kind of Should is the one we put on other people. You should do this, or You should go there. It's our Ego, our opinion, as we try to make ourselves big on the outside, over-compensating for our smallness inside.

Finally, my personal nemesis is the Should that is born out of duty, pressure, appeasing people: I should do this. I should go there. Stop it!

Better to choose deliberately, and then say “I Love to do this” and “I want to go there”.