Empathy

Empathy.

Closely related to Compassion and Sympathy, though the three words are quite different.

Empathy to me means:

"I can see what you are going through/have been through,

 I can try to imagine what it must feel like,

 I will not criticise or judge you for your response to/in this situation,

 Is there anything I can do for you?

 How can I help you at this time?

 What can I learn myself, from your experience".

When somebody shares a trauma with me, my reaction now is to say: "Oh my goodness, how awful that must have been for you; I feel your distress, I share your pain".

(I used to say: Well obviously, you should do this.....).

Empathy to me, is:

"I haven't been through your particular situation,

 I don't have any experience in this particular area,

 but I can see how much it means to you,

 I can identify with your pain

 and I will sit with you

 and listen

 and be still

 and walk with you through this".

 If I can, I will offer encouraging words,

 comforting words,

 but try to  not  make comments,

 I'll try to  not  make suggestions,

 unless asked for,

 (and even then, be very cautious)

 and I will certainly spare them my opinions.

There are elements of Sympathy and Compassion in there, though they are separate entities

But my favourite thing about Empathy, is: we can learn from other people's experiences, WITHOUT HAVING TO GO THROUGH IT OURSELVES.

This is awesome: to be able to spare ourselves grief.

To develop the skill of learning from our own mistakes/journey/circumstances  is an art in itself.

To learn from another person's Path, and not have to go down it ourselves, is truly an awesome gift.