For the Joy set before me

Every Friday, a mobile fish and chip van drives round my village, and stops just outside my house.

When I’m in and I catch it, I like to see it as my way of treating myself,

but last night I pinched my growing ‘love’ handles, and decided not to partake.

At 6pm, the stress started to build as I heard it doing it’s rounds.

It’s amazing how stressful breaking a simple pattern can be isn’t it.

At 7pm, to help combat the craving, I had a healthy meal of cold pasta, tomatoes, red peppers, nuts.

Telling myself I was ‘full’ now, I tried not to dwell on the thought of delicious chips with salt and vinegar covered in curry sauce….

By 8pm, the van was getting closer, and I doubted I could stick to my resolve.

When it finally came round at 9.30, I fought the urge to run outside; it was really hard.

I stroked my protruding gut, and reminded myself I'd had tea already.

Yes!  The van has gone!  I’ve managed it!  So proud of myself.

Golly, that was traumatic.

Is this the kind of pressure Ladies feel, each time the chocolates, cakes, biscuits are passed round?

In the morning, I looked at my flat (ish)  belly in the mirror, and REJOICED that I’d stuck to my guns last night. The pain, stress and trauma were worth it, because today I am fitter and healthier and more proud of myself that I was yesterday.  Well done Serge, proud of you lad.

This experience made me think of all the other times in life, when I say yes to something now, knowing I’ll regret it tomorrow or later. Why do we do it? Why do we focus on the short term, at the expense of the future?

I remembered my Party Days, when it seemed so convenient and naughty and tempting to stay with her all night, but at that crucial point, when the line was drawn (do you want to come up), I said Nite, and left. Waking up in my own bed the next morning, stretching luxuriously in delight, loving the feelings of Relief and the Self-Respect that flooded over me.

I promise to remind myself next time, to fix my thoughts on the Joy, Pride and Satisfaction I WILL  feel when I do something Good.