Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Love Is Practical


Love is - Giving your partner the larger slice
Love is - Making personalised birthday cards and Christmas cards for them
Love is - Telling them honestly and politely when an outfit isn't right
Love is - Taking a photo of them every day
Love is - Not correcting them when they get a fact or date wrong
Love is - Looking at them when they talk
Love is - Bringing them breakfast in bed
Love is - Stopping a film if they don't like it
Love is - Giving them a lift home in the dark
Love is - Sharing their favourite activity with them
Love is - Sending them sweet texts during the day
Love is - Putting their shoes away for them
Love is - Covering for their weaknesses
Love is - Cooking a meal for them
Love is - Sacrificing the last banana for their breakfast
Love is - Warming the house for them to wake up to
Love is - Putting out an outfit for them to wear
Love is - Switching on the electric blanket in the bed
Love is - Leaving the shower on for them to get in warm
Love is - Playing the piano just for them
Love is - Stroking her hair until she falls asleep
Love is - Speaking highly of them in public
Love is - Listening to them without interrupting
Love is - Don't store things up, communicate immediately
Love is - Make them feel safe around me
Love is - Make me a safe place to come back to
Love is - No judgements or criticism
Love is - Taking their arm to cross the road
Love is - Holding doors open for them
Love is - Opening the car door for her
Love is - Encouraging and supporting them
Love is - Praising them when they achieve something
Love is - Trusting them


Love Is Conceptual


Love is - Accepting them as they are
Love is - Not trying to change them
Love is - Remembering, before you point, that there are three fingers pointing back at you
Love is - Considering your own faults and failings before mentioning theirs
Love is - Respecting their personal time and space
Love is - Loving and accepting yourself first
Love is - Setting them free
Love is - Letting them go
Love is - Releasing them
Love is - Allowing them to be who they were meant to be
Love is - Not walking on eggshells
Love is - Not being so volatile
Love is - Encouraging Truth and Light between us
Love is - Picking the right time to raise an issue
Love is - Being aware of the Tone of your voice, and how it might be received
Love is - Being genuinely consumed with a desire to do good to/for them
Love is - Believing they want the best for me
Love is - Choosing to believe them
Love is - Being consistent
Love is - Being reliable
Love is - Being Real
Love is - Being practical
Love is - Keeping a positive outlook
Love is - Maintaining a high vibration, for both our sakes
Love is - Bringing peace to situations
Love is - Refusing to spread gossip
Love is - Forgiving quickly and readily
Love is - Not holding a grudge
Love is - Sharing their load
Love is a Knowing they are right for you


Thursday, 20 November 2014

Junk Food


We've all heard the saying: "You are what you eat"?
It originated hundreds of years ago, but was made famous by a 1942 dated book, by a nutritionist called Victor Lindlahr.  The actual quote is:
"Ninety per cent of the diseases known to man are caused by cheap foodstuffs. You are what you eat."
He was passionate about the notion that what you eat is fuel to regenerate your cells.

Now I know this. I know to avoid sugars, sweets, cakes, puddings, beer, because as we all know, refined man-made sugar is the enemy of our bodies.
But I'd forgotten that processed meals, fast-food, microwave meals, can be just as damaging to our health. I'd fallen into the trap of being so busy, having no time to cook real food, so I buy a 'something' on the way home.

Last night, I was driving through the night, tired and hungry, falling asleep at the wheel, when I saw a drive-through. Oh my, the bright lights just drew me in like I was on auto-pilot. I ordered a large burger, fries and a milk shake, paid five pounds for the privilege, and sped off, back onto the motorway.
I can't deny, it was the tastiest thing I had eaten in a long time. So welcome, probably because I was hungry and vulnerable. I enjoyed every mouthful, every slurp. In the back of my mind, I know how this stuff was made, I am not even going to call it food. But at the time, I shoved all that knowledge down, and simply enjoyed the taste.

But the next morning.
Oh my, the next morning.
First of all, I woke up with a headache, which is unusual.
Then I groaned myself out of bed, normally I spring up, full of gratitude.
Then I dragged my carcass round the house, instead of leaping down the stairs in joy and excitement. There was no anticipation today, it was like a fog had settled around my brain.
No clarity in my thinking, no get-up-and-go, no enthusiasm.
"Coffee" I thought through my stupor, that'll wake me up. Normally I have green tea, but today, a strong coffee didn't even touch my sorry state.
I drank lots of water, and took headache pills.
It's like my body was so unused to such dietary abuse, it didn't know how to react. It was shocked I could treat it so badly.
Oh, and did I mention the acid reflux? It was awful. Junk food is one of the causes of cancer in our society, our ph levels have risen higher than ever before in the history of human-kind. Fast-food produces the wrong kind of acid in our bodies, the damaging kind....

As I fumbled my way though a shower, I realised this is the way millions of people feel every day. Every morning is an effort.  Every step is unpleasant. I know people who heave themselves upstairs, I normally skip. Why do people tolerate this? It's like they are only half switched on. How do they cope with life? How do they make decisions? Manage relationships? Run a home? A business?
It's because they haven't experienced another way, a better way. The path of clean food, healthy living, raw veg, freshly-cut fruit, home-grown salad, organic, free range, less salt, less sugar, less white processed refined junk.

Junk. That's the word. I'd crammed by belly full of chemically processed junk last night, and now my body was returning the favour. "You gave me this fuel Serge, now I am going to make your brain out of it. Happy thinking".
So I spent the rest of the day trying to compensate by eating fish and veg and salad, trying not to think about the plastic I had digested last night, and what effect it was having on my blood.
I'll be more mindful from now on, about what I put into my mouth.

As the great Hippocrates said: "Let food be thy medicine, and medicine thy food".

Now is the Time


Tomorrow hasn't happened yet. Tomorrow is in the future.
You can prepare for it, wisely and without stress, but you can't deal with something that hasn't happened yet. When you get to tomorrow, you find it is another NOW to contend with.

Yesterday is in the Past. Past means it has already gone and you can't change what happened. You can deal with the after-effects, gently and with sensitivity, but this is always done in the Now. The present.

The problem with regularly:
·       Anticipating and fearing tomorrow, and
·       Remembering and wallowing in the past,
is you never take time to enjoy the Now.
And being in the Now really is a Secret that many of the ancients tried hard to get us to understand. It is so important.
Living in the Now. Being in today.

One of the greatest gifts we can give someone is our attention. How many times have you been with someone, and they are not 'there' with you? Their mind is always somewhere else, pondering some dilemma, when they should be here looking into your eyes. This is especially hard if you have a Lover, where you look into their eyes, and they are somewhere else, not with you. You feel like slapping them! Look who's right here now! You are missing what's under your very nose! I know all this because I was such a person, who was never Present in the Now. My Now as a child was so unpleasant, I tried to escape it daily.  Today my Now is very pleasant, but it has still taken me years to unlearn this habit. The pain is gone, but the habit remained. And we know what to do with bad habits don't we - simply replace them with good ones.

The reason it's called the Present, is because that's what it is - A Present. A Gift. For people who are terminally ill, every current moment is a present, a gift.
How can we stop escaping from the Now and instead revel in it and enjoy it?

Here are some ideas how to remain in the Now:
1.     Write. Simple isn't it. Write down (or type) your thoughts, your feelings, your story, or make up a story. It will require you to reach down (or up) into that creative part of you that is free from restrictions and burdens.
2.     Play a sport. I play table tennis, and by the end of a session, my senses are heightened, attuned, so alert, and I feel so alive and Here.
3.     Compose some music. I teach people to play guitar and piano. I encourage them to go home and tinker on their instrument. Play a chord and hum a tune to it. It will never be wrong, because it is all Art. You may find time stands still for you.
4.     Go for a peaceful drive. DON'T put the radio on! Instead, enjoy driving like an advanced driver. Change gears mindfully, feel them in, ease the clutch up. Pretend you have a fragile load in the back - glide around corners gently, brake deliberately. I do many hours of driving in silence.
5.     Go for a walk in the country, and deliberately fix your mind on your surroundings. Listen to the sound of your feet swishing through the grass, the crunch of rocks. Feel the wind on your cheek. It is so Grounding, so therapeutic, makes you stable, calms you down.
6.     Sit in the garden and focus on the birds, on the clouds, on the branches bending in the breeze. It's like watching an extremely relaxing film, only this is real, in the Now.

Monday, 17 November 2014

Don't Trash It


Trash is an American word for Rubbish or Garbage.
If something is worthless, useless or broken, we throw it away.
We Reject it.  We Refuse it.  We negate it.                     
However the meaning I wish to draw out, is to Discard, to Dismiss, to Discount.

When something GOOD happens in our lives, how many times do we Trash It?
How many times have we heard people mutter: "It'll never last", when someone they know has a windfall, or something great happens to them.
Now they are not just trashing their own life, they are trashing somebody else's!  No thank you, keep your negative vibes to yourself.

And yet, I notice I do it to myself.
·       I get a new car, and moan about what it DOESN'T have. Always focussing on the negative, the LACK of.
·       I am presented with a wonderful new work opportunity, but then trash it by saying the money isn't as much as I expected.
·       I eat a meal which is potentially healthy and nourishing for me, but then I trash it in my body by complaining it's got not enough flavour or something else.
·       I go to a networking event, and afterwards, infuse the experience with negative thoughts and words. Don't trash it! Be grateful that it happened and light-hearted about any results.

Griping and complaining are habits we get into; it's a trap we fall into, an imperceptible eroding of the joy.
When we are ungrateful, we resonate at a low frequency, where everything goes slow and stagnates and smells.  People find it unpleasant to be around us.
But when we are grateful and appreciative, this raises our vibration. We resonate at higher frequencies and attract higher calibre people and better situations into our lives.
Flies are attracted to the Light.

These things that are given to us are just that - GIFTS. They can be taken away in a moment. Good things are attracted to higher vibrations, The more gratitude we feel and show, the more we open ourselves up to further possibilities, larger gifts, more lucrative deals.
If we trash everything we are given, if we negate, discount, dismiss, discard or any other DIS, we send out a message that what we have been given is not good enough.
Once again focussing on lack.  What you focus on, you head towards.

What you appreciate, Appreciates.

To be content, but not satisfied.
It is very good to be content with what we have. Love, accept and find pleasure in the Now.
It is also very good to not be satisfied, because that makes us reach for more and grow.

So, be grateful, don't trash everything you have, but instead find a reason to Love.


Sunday, 16 November 2014

Beliefs


Belief is linked with Truth.
Is this True? Can I BELIEVE you?
If I decide to Believe you, then that is my Belief.
The fact that I've decided to believe you makes me very powerful.
It hasn't been thrust upon me, I haven't been brainwashed, it's a belief I have researched and chosen for myself.

If I have proved something to be true, then I deem it trustworthy, and I choose to believe it.

Belief is linked with Certainty.
I am certain of this.
I have checked this out, and I am convinced and persuaded as to its accuracy.
If I am convinced about something, then that is my belief, and nobody can take that away from me.

Belief is linked with the:  "I Know".
I have done my background study, and  I Know  deep down that this is true and reliable.
I have years of evidence that prove this is so.  I believe it.

If I believe I can do something, then it's true, I can.
If I believe the bar is too high, then I will never clear it.
Whatever I believe, in my deepest place inside, becomes my Truth, my Reality, my Life. And nobody can shake this internal belief.

Try telling the anorexic girl she looks great as she is. She won't believe you because she has a strong inner belief to the contrary.
Try telling the boy who has been continually called stupid by his teachers and family, that he can achieve anything he wants in life. He won't believe you because he has years of evidence which convince him otherwise.
Try telling the abused husband or wife that it's all right, this person can be trusted now. They will need years of proof before they believe you.
Years of failure can cripple you from taking a next step. It depends on what you choose to believe. About yourself first, about people around you, about situations and traditions.

You see, it's not what others say is true or false, it's what you BELIEVE inside, that becomes your new reality.
I believe with all my heart, that I don't get sick. This is not hope or faith, this is based on years of repeated evidence.
If I believe you will judge me and condemn me, then I will not approach you, regardless of how many people tell me of their experience with you.
However, if I believe that you love me and accept me, then I will relax with you and share my heart with you and accept your input into my life.
It may take months of repetitive niceness before someone finally believes us, but it is SO worth the wait. I'd rather have someone's willing heart, than their reluctant consent.

So, believe something because you've checked it out yourself thoroughly, and it is True and proven, not because your friends, parents, church leaders or teachers tell you.

Oh, and don't believe what you see on telly or read in the papers.....


Wednesday, 5 November 2014

Feelings and Emotions


Feelings are internal. We feel inside of us.

Negative, angry feelings eat away at our insides.
For example, un-forgiveness and bitterness may cause dis-stress and dis-ease in our physical bodies, possibly leading to headaches, ulcers, cancers, tumours and other horrible things.

Happy, positive feelings sooth our internal organs.
For example, open-minded, non-judgemental, hopeful feelings, may improve our health, calm our minds, bring us peace, aid our digestion, clean our skin etc.

The first step, is for us to identify WHAT we are feeling. Or how we are feeling.
Identify it, name it, pin it down, examine it. Does it serve me? What caused it?
Do I feel anxious? Will I let my anxiety turn to anger?
Do I feel threatened? Will that feeling cause me to flight or fight?
Do I feel nervous? Can I convert that feeling to excitement?
Do I feel grateful? Shall I allow this to manifest itself as joy and laughter?
We can control our feelings to some degree, by choosing what we dwell on, what we think about.

Nobody else can see what we feel. Feelings happen inside.
They are invisible. But they are very real....


Emotions on the other hand, are E-motions - Energy in Motion.
To Emote, is to display on the outside of us, what is happening on the inside.
What will I DO with these feelings inside? How will I show them?
This is emotion; a physical action, belaying the inner feeling that caused it.
To bottle-up and push down a feeling is bad for us, if not dangerous.
Feelings need to be released as emotions.
How appropriate is our emoting? How inappropriate?
Do we let our feelings seep out safely? Or do we suddenly explode in public.
We can control our emotions.
When I'm happy, it is good and healthy to emote this by laughing, clapping, singing, dancing, smiling.
When I am sad, perhaps in grief, it is good to allocate time to sit with this and allow the tears to flow, allow the rage to well up. But make sure this is in a safe place, perhaps a controlled, deliberate environment, where other people will not be affected, perhaps with a trusted significant other.

So, that appears to be the progression:
A thought,
produces an internal feeling,
which is expressed as an external emotion.