Why Women have so many Clothes

Part of moving in together, is accepting the other person and their possessions as your own.

So when my Lady asked me to move an ENTIRE ROOM FULL of clothes from her old house into our new one, I didn't hesitate.

She was so apologetic, expecting me to complain or moan like previous men had. But I was delighted to!

I thought about it while I was moving: Why do women have so many clothes and shoes? And I realised the answer was: To show off the many facets of their personality!

Like a diamond has many aspects, sides, surfaces, features, planes and angles, so my Lady has to display all her many wonderful properties:

her complex personality,

her beauty,

her dreams,

her ideals,

her playful side,

her serious side,

her sporty side,

her elegant side,

her naughty side,

her sleepy side,

her winter side,

her summer side.

All aspects of our personality can be expressed in art, in clothing, in music, in dance, and in....wait for it....SHOES!

I looked at the amount of shoes I had, as a normal bloke; a pair for every event.

A pair for table tennis, a pair for football, a pair for hill walking, a pair for running in, a pair for working in, a smart pair, a casual pair, an in-door pair, a pair for rain, a pair for sun, and I realised, who on earth was I to criticise someone else's shoe collection?

I choose not to.

So, now we know, that the reason why Ladies own so many clothes and shoes, is to show off the many facets of their interesting personality.

Now I encourage my Lady to wear all her beautiful clothes and all her shoes. I love seeing which side of her psyche she wishes to display today.

My Lady is a mystery, a surprise, a treat, a wonderful person. She can wear whatever she wants, however she wants, whenever she wants.

And I am simply delighted.

Moving House 2

Moving House - Associated Traumas

Losing all my stuff, my possessions, my things.

Losing my identity.

Losing my individuality.

Losing all of me.

Having none of me in the new house.

Binning 10 years of my history.

Me me me again.

Me is good. Fear is not good. The above statements have fear in them.

Personal comforts are good. Dependency on things is not good.

Possessions are good. Refusing to share is not.

Being authentic is good. Becoming argumentative is not good.

Keep an eye on 'Fear of change', it doesn't serve me.

Moving House - Associated JOYS

Starting afresh.

Letting go of singleness.

Leaving bachelor-hood.

Embracing a new relationship.

Rejoicing in sharing with someone.

Acquiring new shared possessions.

Giving back things that didn't belong to me.

Getting rid of bad history; replacing it with delicious Now.

Binning old furniture, old bedding, old clothes, old knickknacks that have no place in my future.

Finding myself.  Grounding myself.  Being at peace with myself.

Carrying my own turf within me.

Becoming even more secure and Big Inside.

Every new experience makes me stronger.

Not being phased by house improvements and DIY. Instead, revel in making my new home a better place. Turn it all into an adventure. Find the fun in it. Learn new skills.

Let old habits die. Develop new ones.

Living alone breeds anti-social behaviour.  Now is the time to address this!

Let's do it together. Let's share the load. Let's learn to work together. A team. Friends. Lovers. Companions. Inspiring each other. Motivating each other. Nurturing each other. Serving each other. Supporting each other. Learning from one another. A perfect union. Mutual respect and admiration. Such a beautiful picture.

So, moving home? It's ultimately a Joy. A delightful experience to have gotten through. A step up. A step forward.

Plan it. Put the hard work in immediately, don't let it drag, then relax as the house starts taking shape.

Empty the boxes quick, and get rid of them!

Moving House 1

Moving house and all the associated stresses and traumas.

Moving house requires making a fresh start.

Letting go of the Past.

Leaving behind memories.

Releasing habits that don't serve me any more.

Giving away possessions that I will never use again.

Close the door on the old, open the door to the new.

We are all creatures of habit.

We hoard,

we stick to the familiar,

we repeat the same mistakes,

we go down the same path every day,

we follow the known route,

we stay within our comfort zone,

we keep old photo's and possessions, possibly out of guilt or duty, even though they bring us pain and sadness.

We live our lives the same way for years, for no other reason other than we've always done it this way.

We hold onto things that once hurt us.

Why should I keep those pictures of my ex?

Will they serve me?  Will they bring me joy?  Will they benefit my future?

Actually, the question is wrong; There are no shoulds. No duty. No guilt.

The question should be: Why DO I keep old photo's of my ex?

There is no access to the past anymore. It is gone, ended. untouchable.

The future hasn't happened yet.

All I have is the Now. Will this benefit me now?

Bin the pictures. Or give them back. Move on.

Look upwards, onwards and forwards.

Question: Do you need this?

Answer:   No.

Question: So shall I bin it then?

Answer:   No! Store it upstairs.

It takes a lot of courage to bin things we have held dear for so long.

Games that I used to play.

Books that I will never read again.

Clothes that I can't fit into any more.

Equipment that is so old it needs updating anyway.

Films that I watched once, but will never watch them again.

Old computers that I loved for ten years, but are now unsupported.

Furniture that is so 'single man-ish' that I must not bring it into my future.

Photos that bring back painful memories, memories that are simply not welcome anymore.

What worked for me, was to be ruthless when moving home.

Treat it like a fresh start, a new beginning, a setting free, an exciting adventure.

Bring into my future only what will serve me and empower me now.

The Other Kind of Love

When a child spills drink on the floor,

and then slips in their own mess and hurts themselves,

we pick them up, comfort them, clean up their mess,

reinstate them, and give them another drink.

When the same child spills drink on the floor again,

and then slips in the mess they created and hurts themselves again,

we pick them up, comfort them, clean up their mess again,

reinstate them, and give them another drink again.

If the child kept doing this repeatedly, would we continue repeating our comforting and reinstating procedure? Or would we try to get to the bottom of WHY this is happening, and how to prevent it happening again.

When people commit crimes,

and we put them in prison,

and they get out of prison and commit the same crime again,

at which point do we stop the leniency, and try and get to the cause of the problem?

When social workers and carers see the same self-inflicted problems day in day out, caused by the individual themselves:

bad diet,

no exercise,

wrong thinking,

derogatory speech,

sad parenting,

communication misunderstandings,

refusing to change,

living in denial,

selfish attitudes,

high stress,

setting aside no time to relax,

keeping low company,

watching harmful things on TV,

not grieving properly,

out-of-touch with their feelings,

no control of their emotions,

reading damaging material,

spreading gossip,

all self-inflicted,

at which point do they realise, there is no merit in patching up, soothing, comforting, reinstating such a person; we need to get to the root, the cause, the reason they are like this.

This requires the other side of Love - the tough side

The type of Love that won't let people get away with living a lie.

The type of Love that confronts people with their Mirror for their own good.

The type of Love that speaks the truth in grace and gentleness.

The type of Love that lances a boil rather than let it fester.

The type of Love that is firm and unshakable and stands it's ground.

The type of Love that exposes the darkness.

The type of Love that refuses to enter into other people's drama.

The type of Love that doesn't respond to manipulation.

The type of Love that encourages people to grow up rather than remain a child.

The type of Love where the Lover loves themselves FIRST, before they try and Love others.