Fear of Preparation

Ah yes, fear - the old enemy of human-kind.

Fear of the Unknown normally.

One of the ways to combat fear of the unknown, is to Prepare.

Proper Preparation is one of the antidotes to fear.

Going on a journey to a place I've never been to before,

using trains that I've never used before,

meeting people I've never met before,

talking about a subject that I haven't spoken about before.

All this could add up to a pretty fear-full experience.

So, I remove the fear, by preparing:

I Google the place I am going, I study the maps and the location.

I book the trains days in advance, thereby minimising all stress and anxiety.

I befriend the people before I get there, so they are not total strangers.

I swat up on my subject before I go, so it flows out of me effortlessly.

Now I can sleep peacefully, knowing I have done everything I can to prepare for the unknown situation.

Fear will not master me. I leave it no room in my life.

I give it no permission over me.

Another way to dispel the fear of the unknown, is to make it known.

Study it, visit it, explore it.

Emotions like anger, grief, loss are often a path we never go down, so we are afraid of those feelings.

The answer is to not run from them, but explore them, feel them, sit with your loss, sit with your grief, express your anger.  Allocate time to do this each day or several times a week.

Never squash things down. Never repress.

Allow yourself to feel, this will banish fear.

When you travel to the end of a path, it no longer holds any mystery and fear.

Beautiful View

This morning I drove down one of the most beautiful roads in North Wales, the A5.

It was a breath-taking drive; everywhere I looked was completely stunning.

I must have uttered the word "Beautiful" a hundred times, as each corner revealed yet another awesome view.

There was sunshine, there were mists.

There were clouds, there was blue sky.

There was green grass, there were brown trees.

There were hills, there were flat plains.

I saw horses, sheep, cows, birds, even some pigs.

I felt great and the scenery was amazing.

Which came first?  The view or my attitude?

Was it a nice drive BECAUSE I had a good inclination?

Is it possible that our internal workings create the day we have?

How about the notion that our inner state creates filters over our eyes, so that we can only see that which we expect to see?

Am I a victim to my surroundings and my environment, so that if it's a "nice" day, then I feeeel nice?

And if it's a cloudy day, or a so-called "Bad Day", do I let my external circumstances dictate what I see and feel?

Should I allow myself to be that vulnerable? Susceptible to external circumstances?

Is there really no choice in this matter?

I believe there is.

I believe if my heart and mind are in a good place, then I will see and hear good things around me. More than that, I believe I will draw to me (attract), even more pleasant things.

I choose to remain in this place, where I actively look for the good in people and situations. I will remain grateful, I will maintain my positive attitude, and lo, the world seems a better place to be in  around me.

Stick around me - the joy is infectious!

Send Love, not hate

At first glance, the immediate response in our HEAD is "Of course Love is better than Hate".

It doesn't even bare discussion when we THINK about this statement in our Heads.

Unfortunately, we do not Act out of our Head - we act out of our HEART.

The immediate and natural reaction of our Heart, when someone wrongs us, is:

Revenge.  Anger.  Justice.  Hate.

It takes a mature and enlightened person a lifetime to over-ride these instincts. That IS what we are trying to do isn't it? To replace our in-bred instincts with higher ones.

"Send Love", rather than send curses, bitterness and bad frequencies.

When I think bad thoughts about
a person,
an animal,
a government,
a nation,
I am sending out vibrations that are harmful to everything in their path. It's like a ripple effect. Not only am I drawing to myself (attracting) the very attitudes I am sending out, but also, I am negatively affecting everyone else on the planet.
(We ARE all connected, more on this another time).

When another motorist wronged me in the road, I used to seethe and fume and swear and wave my fist - you know, the standard natural reactions. I can now see how that is like throwing mud into a sparkling pool - the dirt ripples out from me in ever increasing circles, making everyone else's life around me a misery too.

They will then carry this dirt, my dirt, on them for the rest of the day.  How dreadful is this?
 Very.

Instead, I choose to send out Love, Acceptance and Understanding. They must be having a bad day - I will not add to their distress. I will do the mature thing, and let them roar past in a cloud of dust and smoke, and then they are out of my life with my blessing.

To think like this is taking a Higher Path, a Road Less Travelled.

The dog in the house opposite me used to bark for hours at a time. Like, not just 20mins, but all morning. It was quite distressing. So rather than send out hateful thoughts to him and his human owners, I sent out Love from my home.
Each time I was in my garden, I would greet the dog kindly, and under my breath, whisper nice words back to him. Soon, he not only stopped barking at me, but even began to whimper back to me, as if responding to my kindness.

Success!

Facebook Time

I think I work hard, and I certainly feel tired at the end of a day, but am I really doing what really counts? Am I really using my time in the most profitable way?

Or do I catch myself continually flicking between emails and Facebook?

So before I realise it, half an hour has passed and I find I've wasted it browsing other people's profiles.

Then my eyes are tired, but I kid myself I've been working hard, and I need a so-called break.

Humm... who am I really kidding?

Is there any benefit to browsing Facebook?

·       Am I looking at humorous posts that will lighten my attitude, lift my spirits, and hopefully make me laugh?  (Laughing is SO important, but how rarely we do it).
In that case, I should deliberately allocate time to this, and call it a "Happy Half Hour", or something like that. That would do me so much good.

·       Am I looking at inspirational posts, that will lift me up, make me think, and turn me into a better person?
In that case, this is a very positive use of time, and I need to deliberately allocate time to this, and call it a "Personal Growth Half Hour", or something like that.

·       Am I readying about the latest developments in Health or Foods or Natural Healing?
Information that will benefit and prolong my life, increase my immune system, reduce stress, make me better?
Well, that is very profitable, and I should certainly allocate a good half hour to my health, yes.

·       Am I just being nosy? Do I have an unhealthy pre-occupation with other people's lives? Does it really benefit me knowing what they just had to eat? Or what they are doing on holiday?
The answer is no, there is no benefit to me, and I am just wasting my own life, and reading about others.  Surely my life isn't that boring.

·       Am I being a gossip? Participating in unhealthy conversations about other people? Even if I just spectate, the damage it does to me inside is just as great, because I am visualising someone else in their worst light. Once again, this is not only a waste of time, it is an actively destructive use of time.

Sure, use Facebook to connect with friends, but please do meet up with them in real life. Real people who smile at you, spend time with you, encourage you, pat you on the back.

There is no substitute to Real Life!

Empathy

Empathy.

Closely related to Compassion and Sympathy, though the three words are quite different.

Empathy to me means:

"I can see what you are going through/have been through,

 I can try to imagine what it must feel like,

 I will not criticise or judge you for your response to/in this situation,

 Is there anything I can do for you?

 How can I help you at this time?

 What can I learn myself, from your experience".

When somebody shares a trauma with me, my reaction now is to say: "Oh my goodness, how awful that must have been for you; I feel your distress, I share your pain".

(I used to say: Well obviously, you should do this.....).

Empathy to me, is:

"I haven't been through your particular situation,

 I don't have any experience in this particular area,

 but I can see how much it means to you,

 I can identify with your pain

 and I will sit with you

 and listen

 and be still

 and walk with you through this".

 If I can, I will offer encouraging words,

 comforting words,

 but try to  not  make comments,

 I'll try to  not  make suggestions,

 unless asked for,

 (and even then, be very cautious)

 and I will certainly spare them my opinions.

There are elements of Sympathy and Compassion in there, though they are separate entities

But my favourite thing about Empathy, is: we can learn from other people's experiences, WITHOUT HAVING TO GO THROUGH IT OURSELVES.

This is awesome: to be able to spare ourselves grief.

To develop the skill of learning from our own mistakes/journey/circumstances  is an art in itself.

To learn from another person's Path, and not have to go down it ourselves, is truly an awesome gift.